Miserable.........

I have been drinking alot this few days. My best friend claudia have went back to her hometown. I missed her alot.

That's her on the left!

I wish i can totally ignore him and disappear from my heart. He has been lying to me. I couldn't believe it that i trust him alot in e end this will happened.

FUCK, Fuck it! I cant control my emotion now but its really damn pissed!
Why people wont't cherish what they have when things are just easy to hold?
Why people will always tend not to satisfied oh what they have now?
Why there's will be no everlasting relationship in this world?
Why people will do things wrong?
Why people will tend to betray their wife and firting outside with other gals?

Faithful person will always tend to get hurt from the loved 1st. Because he/she have given alot of love and concern to her loved. In e end, what will happen? He/she won't tend to cherish what they have and instead letting go! I couldn't understand why love occur in the first place. If you want to fling, just tell them you want to fling. At least, the party will get prepare that it's just a game.

My life have been all messed up! i can't work, sleep, studies and all mean so lifeless to me. It's really effecting my whole life. I wish i can be strong, kept on reminding to just let it go, it's not worth. Cos he's one who let go of me. But i always believe that we LOVE each other just that we didnt realise. Sometimes we tend to neglect other parties, but if things do bother to explain. It's possible to work out to next stage. Why not? WTF! Its giving me madness. I did told my friends that i want to just give up my life. Cos when die, i won't be so miserable anymore and no more torture to me. I thought of many way to end my life. Family giving me pressure and boyfriend is leaving me. The most important roles have been giving me a big blown! What for i still belong to this world. I know i'm silly to say all this but its make me clear my mind. It's useless to do anything. I giving the best of my shot to him not because i want him to stay with me. I understand that the day will come, and its really happened. I'm indeed couldn't face the fact. When a relationship is start, it will have a ending one day just depend whether it is happy ending ever after or miserable ending. If you think that, letting me go is the best choice. I will bear in mind. i been holding on so long because i care about us. I know it's really hard and i know i damn persistent. I DIDNT BLAME YOU, PLS! M i ugly to you? M i a disgrace to you? I hope that one day you will understand me. It's really hurting when you told me to forget you. Been with you for 5 years, how to forget? You can? "The more you love a person, the more hurtful you will get!" I won't ask you to come back to me. I will let you go. Do whatever you like. It's no point to come back now. We need times to cool down. No matter how badly i missed you, it's mean nothing at all.............

i wish to leave out of here and have a long vacation! If i have enough money, i will be flying right away. Sianz......... Venting my anger............. my sadness............. There always a pharse "Plan to be surprised!" It's all doesn't matter now. No soft-hearted, faithful, sweet, caring gal from now. EVERYTHING IS GONE FROM ME. NO MORE AGAIN!

1st Day of Silence Month

Yesterday was the first day of silence day. I wasn't been good the whole day. I can't even work the whole day and i have lesson at night but i didnt attend. I have lost my soul for the whole day. I did tell my bosses that i'm miserable and sad. They told me its part of routine in life and i have to face it. Everything will become a past tense and i still young. Mr Ng really dote me alot, he knows that i'm in painful and he let me to beat and willing to lend me his shoulder. Thanks sir. I know i'm a small girl to you.

Knock off time is around the corner, i forgot that i got lesson at night. I'm really forgot until Joanne asked me. Me and Joanne have been chatting outside our block for half and hour. She's consoling me and asked me to be strong. I really hope i can be. I cried in toilet twice silently and picked up my phone to see my send message on what i have been sending to Des. When the moment i thought of it, its really unbearable. I couldn'y believe everything going to end one day. I have spent my night at Claudia's apartment (My germany friend), she been asking me to join her for a BBQ with them because she's leaving the next 2 days. OMG!!!! she's leaving from me soon. But i know she has to go back one day. We been spending a night at her BBQ pit and we been playing and eating till 11pm. But we didnt stopped our fun, we went to a Pub (Crazy Elephant) at Clarke Quay to chill and drink. We have quite alot of drinks at her BBQ before we were setting off to Pub. I need them to be my side cos i know i cant be alone. Once alone, i will think of Des again. It was a funny night out with them, they get so high-up and we saw some funny joke article about wife, husband, sex........ It's a breaking ice indeed. After that, we walked around. We saw alot of hock girls who are looking for their prey. We're so bad. Keep on teasing them from far. Next, we swapped to PUMP Plub to have more drinks. Wow, Claudia ordered a Bailey Nid (Strong thick favour of Milk Chocolate) , its was very nice! I love it! Chatting alot and in e end, we finally decided to go home at 2am. I went to Claudia's place to overnight because she's staying in NYP and that's my working place.

I told myself i must keep myself ocupied and do whatever i want during this month. Play, club, travel and more. Of cos, i can't skipped lesson anymore. I know its shouldn't influence my studies. I wont, i promise myself. I have to be strong and cheerful the each day. I will tend to pick up my phone to write a message to Des. I wish to tell him that can we don't give up each other and stay to each other side? But i know i can't do it. We have been going through alot, i'm so worried when you're sick, cook dishes for you to eat, when you have difficulties, i will be always be yours side to help.

Chinese New Year: Been with you for 5 days.
Valentine Day: An appreciated message received from you.
Illness Day: Another apperciated message from you.
Bangkok and Diving Trip: You missed me alot.
School Term Start: You bother to come so far to fetch me.

Why it will turn out to be like this? Why WHY WHHYYY? Is it because i'm controlling you too much? Not enough freedom that you have? I'm okie with it. We just share it out. Never expect that, we have to silence a month with you. I have been spending all my times and weekend just to be with you. No shopping or staying at home, i'm happy le. Cos i know what you want. I don't want to force you to do things that you don't like. Dear, i hope you can totally understanding me one day. Can you? I didn't blame you. I know you have been trying so hard. My nagging isn't strong ok.

*Life still have to go on.*

Requesting for a silence one month break

From the title you should know what's going on. Des and me have decided to separate for a month due to so many reasons. We have been with each other for 5 years 5 months. During the journey, alot of memories occurred.

I do love Des alot, i think because i do alot of commitment in our relationship. I always tell myself as long as i'm holding this relationship, i have to be faithful, trust and honest to Des. Sometimes i do think that do i still love Des? There's a doubt sometimes. but sincerely, answer is yes. When he's overseas, i keep on counting down the days when he's back in Spore. Alot of people told me that 5 years relationship will tend to be more faded and no more sweetness in it. I didnt agree with them. I love to when we're playing, hugging, beating and all sort of things together. Of cos, sometimes we're pissed off by each other too. We have overcome so many times. True fact "Relationship cant be lasting" without putting effort in it. Its need both parties to clap.

Before the night he set off to Genting, i wrote a letter to him. I did think twice whether i should let him read the letter, cos i think it might effect our relationship. I do afraid to lose him but it's really unforgivable. With my upset and fear, i still decided to let him read the letter. I wrote:

"I felt disappointed that you deleted the comment that i wrote to you. Are you unhappy with it? Or anything wrong with the comment? Maybe without the"dear" word, you would have keep it. I never ever thought you will deleted it away. There's a reason behind for you to do it............................. and no commitment...................................."


But truth is, Des really thinks about our relationship when he's in Genting. He bought the letter with him. I knew when the letter is in his hand, there will be conflict again. It's happened when Des came back from Genting. He have made a special request from me that is to "Can we have a silence month break"? At first, i really don't wish to leave cos i felt that's everything is going smoothly now. It might be only surface of book. But at that moment, i insist not to leave. Its really heartache to see this ending. I wrote to him because i want us to be truth to our self and hopefully we can made some amending to it. Its not about leaving or not leaving but to go into a deeper stage. Guess i have given alot of pressure to Des, this relationship is adding a burden to him which resist himself from what Des wants to do. Its been so many years. Des has told me to understand him as well. Des think that i love him more than he love that its unfair to me. So having a one month silence break is the best. I have no choice to accept the fate. I know its no point dragging it also. Give each other time to think whether we really can make things work anot. Both of our thinking are different, he want to enjoy the freedom and play with all his energy and for me, i want a boyfriend that can show care love to me and of cos i wish that he can stick with me.

I have thought since the whole night throughout, we should give each other time to think what we actually wants. So been without contacting and seeing each other for a month is the best solution. Sometimes i did think to end for few months, but if everything ended, it's hard to get go back again. I couldn't bear to leave Des cos we been too far to to be too close and maybe that's the reason why we would have to do it. Being a Des's gf for so many years, i have learn alot of valuable things and with grown me up during this 5 years. I not to going to pull or hold Des back anymore for this one month. "IF ITS YOUR, ITS YOUR", there's no need to be fear or afraid whether he will/wont be back. I have to face the fate. Desdear: moments that we spent i still remember from now. From schooling till your NS, i am happy that we share alot of things and cherish me. You have been trying very hard already in our relationship. i couldn't expect you to give me more cos it's beyond your limit.


From today onwards, i will be strong and brave to face it. It not miserable to me anymore. Life still have to go on no matter how hard is the road. I won't bother Des for the time being. We need our own empty space. Loving a person is really a most difficult role in life and able to continue with your loved is another chapter of story.


With lots of thought and lost's soul.

====Jocelyn never regret been together with Desmond====
====='m appreciated for what Des have done===========
====One month of silence break will end in 16 Oct 08===
====Jocelyn have to be strong to keep on moving======

DESLYNIE'S FLEA MARKET ALERT!

DESLYNIE'S UPCOMING EVENT
Venue:Youth Park; opposite Cineleisure
Date: 14th June 2008
Time: 1pm - 7pm
***=== Look out for Deslynie Corner ====***

LIME FLEA MARKET ON 10TH MAY, YOUTH PARK

Wowzz. what a hotty day on our 1st flea market. opposite Cineleisure. Never expect that there are crowds cos its not a good weather day. Well, Joanne, sixin and me actually feel so excited about our 1st flea market. See photos below on out booth. haha. At least its look presentable. My homemade accessories isnt selling very well but my second hands good is indeed a good attractive lobang. I felt that everybody is looking for cheap stuffs. Guess how much i sold my belts? Price ranges from $3-$5, its consider very cheap but guess what? There's still people bargain for $2! Omg. I impressive by them especially by young teenagers. Base on my second hands good, i nearly earn $100 on that day. I think that consider quite alot on that day. We took about almost 2 hours to set up our booth. wahaha. That's long man.

"Our Accessories Corner", is it very nice? I love it so much. Esp the earrings stand.

That's me with a big smile. Can imagine how happy am i. Do you saw the crowd behind me?

"3 little princess with a tiring face", ophs no customer at all! Bored.

LIME FLEA MARKET ON 1OTH MAY, OPP CINELEISURE @ YOUTH PARK.
(loaded with people!)

DESLYNIE'S CORNER

Bestseller Box @ DESLYNIE:
1st: #1 Mini Angel
2nd: #3 Classic Bell
3rd: #2 Pacifier

Designs Latest Updated Box:
Handphone: #5 to #8 (2 MAY 08- 8 MAY 08)
Handphone: #9 (21 MAY 08)

FOR HIM & FOR HER ( with Sworovski)

Dear dudes and hunks, figuring what to buy for your girl/boyfriend? Here are some of the ideas that you can pleased your lover with! Handmade Swaroski Crystal...... I doubt she will award you with alot of *sweet* kisses. Have a good browsing. More design and updates will be coming soon!

(Meaning of Crystal: Everlasting and Eternal love)

With Deslynie's love.

Charlene's Story

"My boyfriend have grown roots in my hearts. From a seed to a 6 years old green lovely little tree with little blossom flowers all over it. Await to change from flower to fruit. But things change when girlfriend start to pick down those lovely flower from the tree. Just because the flowers are beautiful that moment. She neglect boyfriend hardship for this tree. She knows if she going to continue picking the flowers till autums comes and winter. Now, girlfriend had stopped picking the lovely flowers and she just want more lovely flowers blossom each day."

She have make a choice to put a stop on it even she still have the urge to pick those lovely flowers because Charlene want the tree with flowers forever. That's her wish.

Cherry Blossom Tree that she wish for....

Swarovski's Necklace, Bracelet & Key Chain

#1 - $14.90


#2 - 14.90


#3 - $16.90

Key Chain
#4 - $12.90


#5 - 11.90




#6 - $17.90

#27 - $17.90


#8 - $16.90

Swarovski's Earring

#1 Balls Earring
Available colour: beige, blue, pink, purple, green, white
$14.90

#2 Cubez with Mini black Butterfly Earring
Available colour: Black
$12.90

#3 Candy Hearts Earring
Available Colour: Pink
$13.90

#4 Butterfly with Red Earring
Colour: Black
$13.90

#5 Simplified
Available colour: Purple, Blue, Pink, Greem.
$9.90

Swarovski's Handphone Accessories

#1 Mini Angel
(25mm by 25mm)
Available colour: Pink, turquie, baby purple & blue
Available crown: Gold, sliver & pink.
1 piece: $14.90
2 pieces: $25.80

#2 Pacifier
(25mm by 10mm)
Available colour: crystal white (main)
$14.90

#3.1 Qing Tian WAWA

(30mm by 40mm)

Available colour: beige, baby blue, green, pink, purple or

white crystal with gold ring

$19.90

#3.2 Classic Bell
(20mm by 30mm)
Available colour: beige, baby blue, green, pink, purple or
white crystal with gold ring
$16.90

#4 Cubeiz
(15mm by 50mm)
Available colour: beige cube with gold, sliver strips
$15.90

#5 Cherry With Leaf
(left size: 28mm by 23mm)
Available leaf colour: green & turquie
$18.90

#6 Enchanted
( 17mm by 45mm)
Available leaf colour: Pink, blue, purple, green & beige.
$15.90

#7 Black Butterfly
( 10mm by 60mm)
Available leaf colour: Black
$12.90

#8 Trival Vase
( 30mm by 23mm)
Available colour: crystal white (main)
$18.90

#8 Baby Turtle
( 30mm by 40mm)
Available colour: green, purple, blue & main (clear)
$14.90