Yesterday was the first day of silence day. I wasn't been good the whole day. I can't even work the whole day and i have lesson at night but i didnt attend. I have lost my soul for the whole day. I did tell my bosses that i'm miserable and sad. They told me its part of routine in life and i have to face it. Everything will become a past tense and i still young. Mr Ng really dote me alot, he knows that i'm in painful and he let me to beat and willing to lend me his shoulder. Thanks sir. I know i'm a small girl to you.
Knock off time is around the corner, i forgot that i got lesson at night. I'm really forgot until Joanne asked me. Me and Joanne have been chatting outside our block for half and hour. She's consoling me and asked me to be strong. I really hope i can be. I cried in toilet twice silently and picked up my phone to see my send message on what i have been sending to Des. When the moment i thought of it, its really unbearable. I couldn'y believe everything going to end one day. I have spent my night at Claudia's apartment (My germany friend), she been asking me to join her for a BBQ with them because she's leaving the next 2 days. OMG!!!! she's leaving from me soon. But i know she has to go back one day. We been spending a night at her BBQ pit and we been playing and eating till 11pm. But we didnt stopped our fun, we went to a Pub (Crazy Elephant) at Clarke Quay to chill and drink. We have quite alot of drinks at her BBQ before we were setting off to Pub. I need them to be my side cos i know i cant be alone. Once alone, i will think of Des again. It was a funny night out with them, they get so high-up and we saw some funny joke article about wife, husband, sex........ It's a breaking ice indeed. After that, we walked around. We saw alot of hock girls who are looking for their prey. We're so bad. Keep on teasing them from far. Next, we swapped to PUMP Plub to have more drinks. Wow, Claudia ordered a Bailey Nid (Strong thick favour of Milk Chocolate) , its was very nice! I love it! Chatting alot and in e end, we finally decided to go home at 2am. I went to Claudia's place to overnight because she's staying in NYP and that's my working place.
I told myself i must keep myself ocupied and do whatever i want during this month. Play, club, travel and more. Of cos, i can't skipped lesson anymore. I know its shouldn't influence my studies. I wont, i promise myself. I have to be strong and cheerful the each day. I will tend to pick up my phone to write a message to Des. I wish to tell him that can we don't give up each other and stay to each other side? But i know i can't do it. We have been going through alot, i'm so worried when you're sick, cook dishes for you to eat, when you have difficulties, i will be always be yours side to help.
Chinese New Year: Been with you for 5 days.
Valentine Day: An appreciated message received from you.
Illness Day: Another apperciated message from you.
Bangkok and Diving Trip: You missed me alot.
School Term Start: You bother to come so far to fetch me.
Why it will turn out to be like this? Why WHY WHHYYY? Is it because i'm controlling you too much? Not enough freedom that you have? I'm okie with it. We just share it out. Never expect that, we have to silence a month with you. I have been spending all my times and weekend just to be with you. No shopping or staying at home, i'm happy le. Cos i know what you want. I don't want to force you to do things that you don't like. Dear, i hope you can totally understanding me one day. Can you? I didn't blame you. I know you have been trying so hard. My nagging isn't strong ok.
*Life still have to go on.*
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