Miserable.........

I have been drinking alot this few days. My best friend claudia have went back to her hometown. I missed her alot.

That's her on the left!

I wish i can totally ignore him and disappear from my heart. He has been lying to me. I couldn't believe it that i trust him alot in e end this will happened.

FUCK, Fuck it! I cant control my emotion now but its really damn pissed!
Why people wont't cherish what they have when things are just easy to hold?
Why people will always tend not to satisfied oh what they have now?
Why there's will be no everlasting relationship in this world?
Why people will do things wrong?
Why people will tend to betray their wife and firting outside with other gals?

Faithful person will always tend to get hurt from the loved 1st. Because he/she have given alot of love and concern to her loved. In e end, what will happen? He/she won't tend to cherish what they have and instead letting go! I couldn't understand why love occur in the first place. If you want to fling, just tell them you want to fling. At least, the party will get prepare that it's just a game.

My life have been all messed up! i can't work, sleep, studies and all mean so lifeless to me. It's really effecting my whole life. I wish i can be strong, kept on reminding to just let it go, it's not worth. Cos he's one who let go of me. But i always believe that we LOVE each other just that we didnt realise. Sometimes we tend to neglect other parties, but if things do bother to explain. It's possible to work out to next stage. Why not? WTF! Its giving me madness. I did told my friends that i want to just give up my life. Cos when die, i won't be so miserable anymore and no more torture to me. I thought of many way to end my life. Family giving me pressure and boyfriend is leaving me. The most important roles have been giving me a big blown! What for i still belong to this world. I know i'm silly to say all this but its make me clear my mind. It's useless to do anything. I giving the best of my shot to him not because i want him to stay with me. I understand that the day will come, and its really happened. I'm indeed couldn't face the fact. When a relationship is start, it will have a ending one day just depend whether it is happy ending ever after or miserable ending. If you think that, letting me go is the best choice. I will bear in mind. i been holding on so long because i care about us. I know it's really hard and i know i damn persistent. I DIDNT BLAME YOU, PLS! M i ugly to you? M i a disgrace to you? I hope that one day you will understand me. It's really hurting when you told me to forget you. Been with you for 5 years, how to forget? You can? "The more you love a person, the more hurtful you will get!" I won't ask you to come back to me. I will let you go. Do whatever you like. It's no point to come back now. We need times to cool down. No matter how badly i missed you, it's mean nothing at all.............

i wish to leave out of here and have a long vacation! If i have enough money, i will be flying right away. Sianz......... Venting my anger............. my sadness............. There always a pharse "Plan to be surprised!" It's all doesn't matter now. No soft-hearted, faithful, sweet, caring gal from now. EVERYTHING IS GONE FROM ME. NO MORE AGAIN!